I could start off with the whole, ” I can’t believe it’s almost 2012!” thing, but in reality, it’s just not true. 2011 felt appropriately long for me.. not in a bad way. I guess it’s just safe to say that I’m satisfied with what I accomplished in my 28th year of life. I wish I could say that of all the 27 years before it.

What was so great about 2011? Let’s review, shall we?

Best experience: Losing the 50 lbs. I slowly acquired over the last 10 years.
Worst experience: The shocking passing of a dear friend and mentor, Maurice Carter.

Top 3 movies I saw:
1. Drive
2. The Muppets
3. The Skin I Live In

Bottom 3 movies I saw:
1. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1
2. Abduction
3. Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark 

Best musical discovery: Kavinsky “Nightcall“
Best musical rediscovery: Dolly Parton “Jolene“

Best sports moment: The OKC Thunder beat Memphis to move on to the Western Conference Finals.
Most heartbreaking sports moment: The OKC Thunder get knocked out of the finals by the Dallas Mavericks.

Best TV episode: Breaking Bad “Crawl Space”
Most disappointing TV episode: Dexter “Nebraska”

Top 3 local discoveries:
1. Chief Drive-In Theater (Choctaw, OK) – They’re open year round, show two movies a weekend and, of course, have delicious, greasy drive-in fried burritos.
2. Cafe de Taipei (Edmond, OK) – I fought it as long as I could, but sushi is delicious. Cafe de Taipei is open until 1AM and has great sushi and drinks at affordable prices. Plus, if you order the same thing every Tuesday for about six months, you won’t even have to phone in your order anymore.
3. All About Cha (Edmond, OK) - I love that they’re open late, but really they made the list for having the best iced hot chocolate ever.. and I don’t even like chocolate. It’s that good.

Bragging rights for 2011:
I saw Al Pacino perform two monologues and hear him talk about his life up close and personal.
I met NFL legend Emmitt Smith.. and made a complete fool of myself.
This post got chosen for Freshly Pressed on WordPress.

Top 3 road trips:
1. Drumright for tasty steak and Evil Dead: The Musical. Then to Tulsa for the midnight showing of Susperia.
2. Tulsa to The Circle for their annual slumber party. This year’s theme – REVENGE! (PS: Young Tommy Lee Jones was hot. Fact.)
3. Wichita, KS for dinner and Young Frankenstein: The Musical.

Other things worth noting:
91 Online celebrated its first (and 28th) anniversary. I don’t think people grasp what a big accomplishment that is.

I finally changed day jobs after two years. So far things are going splendidly! I also picked up a job pulling research for the Air 1 Top 10 Weekend and another one DJing at our classic rock station, KRXO, every other Sunday. So, if you’re keeping track, that puts my current job count at five. Yes, five.

For the first time in 4ish (I can’t really remember) years, I’m roommate-less after she ran off and married my cousin. I love my apartment though. I guess I should l enjoy the quiet while it lasts.

So what does 2012 hold? Your guess is as good as mine. I’m doubting it’ll be the end of the world. After all, we have to see what happens with Marty McFly and Biff in 3 years, so I think we’re safe until then.

As far as my life is concerned, here are a few resolutions:

1. Lose 30 – 50 more lbs.
I say 30 – 50 because after I lose 10 more, I’ll be approaching a weight I haven’t seen since junior high. I may look anorexic if I lose 50 more. I’ll stop at a weight that suits my frame, but I guarantee that it’s at least 30 lbs away.

2. Grow 91 Online.
There is so much to be done and so little extra time to do it in, but I commit to getting 91 closer to the vision we have set for it.

3. Write more.
Since writing has become a job, I’ve found my drive to write creatively is dwindling. I’d really like to make GrabBagOK into something big. I’d also like to revamp and complete my Top 50 TV Characters of All-Time list here at The Poncho. It’s a much bigger task than you’d think.

4. Take a vacation.
I take a lot of mini-road trips. It’s how I keep my sanity. I’ll run up to Tulsa or down to Dallas for an afternoon, but with 5 jobs it’s hard to take a week and get away. I’d love to see my cousins in Oregon or check out the beach with Jessi.. visit a place that involves crossing more than one state line.

5. Love people.
I don’t necessarily mean fall in love (although I’m okay with that too), I mean show love to others more. Giving love is free and there are so many hurting people in this world. I may not know much about what my future holds, but I do know that I have a gift of caring for the broken. It’s time to embrace that calling.

I hope 2012 brings you new joy and happiness. And that even in bad times, you can learn from it and grow.

XOXOXO,
Rachael

No measure of time with you, would be long enough. But we’ll start with forever.

The Best Thing About It: My drive-in burrito. I kid, I kid! (Well, sort of. It was really delicious.)

Concerning the storyline – Edward’s backstory. They reveal that he was basically a vampire version of Dexter, which is a really smart and interesting concept, but then immediately wussify (yep, I just made up a word) him. I think I’d enjoy old, badass Edward. If they make a movie about him, I’ll see it even without the lure of a greasy, meaty treat and a blog to vent my feelings.

Concerning the filmmaking – Breaking Dawn: Part 1 is technically leaps and bounds ahead of any of the rest of the saga. The dream sequence in which Bella imagines herself and Edward standing over the bloody, white-clad bodies of her family and friends at her wedding was perfect. But maybe even more impressive than that is the fact that Bill Condon managed to get Kristin Stewart to actually look people in the eyes and, at some point, I almost understood that she had emotions. Since this is the first I’m seeing of it, I’m going to credit that with the director’s instruction. I’m thrilled to see that he will continue to direct Part 2.

What Would’ve Made It Better: If something would’ve happened. Obviously I’m exaggerating a little, but it’s really not that far of a stretch. Since I watched Breaking Dawn at the drive-in with a clock visible at all times, I was painfully aware of how long things were drawn out. The first hour of the movie literally covered the wedding and honeymoon. AN HOUR! The second hour of the movie was everyone waiting around for Bella to have the baby. While I’m sure these are events that book fans have been eagerly awaiting, for us movie-only watchers, it just dragged on and on… and on. I’m all for taking time so viewers can experience what the characters are feeling, but in this case it was ineffective. I just kept waiting for something to happen, but in the end all I got was a minute long teaser in during the credits. Guess they’re saving the “good stuff” for the last movie.

Random Thoughts: I’m off Team Jacob. Not because I want to switch teams, but because both of these guys are far too stupid for me to pick sides.
I felt for Jacob, but now he’s just become pathetic. She’s married and is clearly only keeping him around because she’s selfish and sees him and someone who can fill a void that Edward can’t. Have some self-respect and move on with your life, Jacob. Stop risking everything and turning against your family to defend her. She chose Edward – it’s now his responsibility, not yours.
I can’t be on Team Jacob until he grows a pair. I respect that he’s secure enough to allow Jacob to hang around, but come on! Bella mentions that she’s cold and immediately Jacob is there offering to warm her with his body heat. Do blankets not exist in Forks? This is something that should irritate him. Bella suggests they name their son EJ (Edward Jacob) and he doesn’t have a problem with that?! I’ll suggest to my future husband that we name our son after all the guys I’ve had feelings for and see how that goes over. And, maybe the worst infraction of them all, Bella tells Jacob in front of the entire Cullen clan that without him she doesn’t feel complete. Hasn’t Jerry McGuire taught us anything?! Still, no reaction. What the what?! Be a man, Edward. Do something! You’re a flipping vampire!

How long was Jacob on-screen before he took his shirt off? Hmm.. 13 seconds or so. Hilarious.

“Bella, you can’t let Edward turn you!”
“Oh, well he’s not going to do it until after the honeymoon.”
“What?! You’re gonna have sex with him before he turns you? He must turn you now!”
There’s no pleasing Jacob.

Since Bella and Edward having sex was supposed to be some big (pardon my use of words) climax, shouldn’t it have been more passionate? First, they’ve been waiting to do this so I expected some sort of emotion to be involved. Second, apparently he could’ve killed her with his penis, but everything seemed pretty boring. And third, he freaks out over a few bruises when clearly it could’ve been much worse and she was fine. I know it’s just a sex scene, but given the bit of history we do know about the characters, it should’ve been handled better.

Could any movie be more heavy-handed about two people being in love? Jiminy Christmas.

Who spends their honeymoon playing chess on a beach? BORING!

When it comes to music, Breaking Dawn is the Full House of movies. Every time there’s some “meaningful” moment, the filmmakers goad you into emotion with musical cues. Unfortunately this takes place in over 93% of the movie.

The Twilight saga is pretty bad, but the wolf conversation with the pack in wolf form was so bad that it even looked stupid in a Twilight movie. Either have the conversation in human form or sub-title the wolf groans. The talk/growl combo was horrible.

Why not turn Bella when she starts having problems with the pregnancy? Wouldn’t that have saved all sorts of problems? I’m assuming they addressed that in the book, but I’m not reading the book so they should’ve filled the rest of us in.

No Volturi? Blerg. Luckily they’ve put off all the potentially interesting stuff for the last four movies, so the finale should actually be entertaining. Should be.

Hottie Alert (for the dudes): Nikki Reed

The Verdict: While technically Breaking Dawn: Part 1 is substantially better that the rest of the saga thus far, the story line was a complete bore. “READ THE BOOKS!” I hear you yelling at me. I’m not arguing that the books aren’t better, I’m just saying that I’m watching the movie. I should be able to do that and still get a coherent story without reading the books. It’s irresponsible film making. They use their time so poorly, it’s should be embarrassing to Stephanie Meyer. I’m making an assumption here, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say there is more depth to these characters in the book. Instead of wasting time on meaningless stares and atrocious dialogue, why not use it to flesh out your characters so I care about them despite the rest of the flaws in the story? Harry Potter managed to do it successfully – Twilight could’ve done the same.
But what am I really arguing here? I’m up in arms about the series as a person who loves the art of filmmaking and dramatic story telling. These movies were not made for people like me. They were made for teenage girls. It’d be like me getting upset about a movie adaptation of The Babysitters Club. It’s not made to please me, so my opinion is moot. If the fans enjoy it, then it’s a success. And seeing the response I’ve got from my Twi-hard friends, it is. Still, I’m the one writing the reviews here, so in my moot opinion, Breaking Dawn: Part 1 gets a whopping 2/10.

I kissed Bella.. and she broke her hand punching my face.

The Best Thing About It: The backstories of Jasper and Rosalie. It’s amazing what a little character development can do. Both of the stories combined maybe took up 5 minutes of screen time, but having the knowledge of where they came from and why they’re now part of the Cullen clan has made these minor characters some the most interesting in the saga to me. Oh, and Jasper and Alice > Edward and Bella.

What Would’ve Made It Better: If something new would happen. I was entertained by (how bad) Twilight (was) and New Moon exceeded my expectations, but now it just seems like the same story rehashed. I’m bored with the love triangle and they’re giving me virtually nothing new about the Volturi. Kristin Stewart still can’t act and the parts that did interest me (Jasper and Rosalie histories and the Victoria showdown) didn’t fill neraly as much time as they should have.

Random Thoughts: Why am I just noticing that Edward’s dad is Mike Dexter?! Shame on me. I blame the hair.

Riley’s transformation was by far the best opening of the Twilight saga.

Finally! Someone brings up the fact that Jacob is shirtless for no reason at all! Thank you, Edward.

Kristin Stewart should play a blind person. She only makes eye contact with people 23% of the time anyway.

I get why Jacob would show up at the graduation party, by why exactly did he and his wolf buddies get to sit in on the top secret meeting about Alice’s vision when they originally had no idea it was about Bella’s safety? Don’t they hate each other?

Was is supposed to be some big shocker when Bella put together that Victoria was the one building the army? Sometimes the plot is offensive to my intelligence. (Side note: I know Bella marries Edward and gets pregnant with a baby that’s killing her in the next movie. I’m gonna go ahead and call now that Edward turns her to save her life. Just a guess.)

Man, that tent scene was excruiating and may have caused Eclipse to lose a full point off it’s rating.

Hottie Alert: Peter Facinelli

The Verdict: Sadly, I have nothing new to report. I still hate Bella. I still don’t care about she and Edward’s love story.  Even though I’m firmly on Team Jacob, I’m getting irritated with the pissing contest between he and Edward over a girl that’s not at all worth fighting for. The laughable dialogue is becoming less funny and more pathetic. The plot is painfully predictable. And, to top it off, the aspects of the series that have to potential to really grab my attention are being suffocated by the teenage soap opera drama of it all. Of course, that’s what the Twilight saga is – a teenage soap opera… so at least it’s living up to it’s title. 2/10

Coming up next: Breaking Dawn Part 1

Bella, you’re apologizing for bleeding?

The Best Thing About It: I’m a fan of vampires. I was before it became the trendy thing to do. And even though these vampires follow pretty much no established lore other than the whole blood sucking thing, I’m still interested to find out the history behind them and how their conflict will play out. With the introduction of the Volturi (yay Michael Sheen!) and the search for Victoria continuing, not to mention bringing the werewolves and the treaty they have into the equation, this is by far the most interesting element in the saga.

What Would’ve Made It Better: Re-cast Bella. I won’t sugar coat it – Kristin Stewart is horrendous.  Honestly, her bad acting was not just irritating to watch, it actually pulled me out of some scenes that had the potential to be engaging.
Here’s why her inability to act should really irk you as a Twilight fan: I’m told that in the books Bella is warm and kind and never waivers in her love of Edward. Nothing could be further from the truth for movie portrayed Bella. You can blame some of that on Melissa Rosenberg. Evidently she decided to create the Edward/Bella/Jacob love triangle (which didn’t exist in the book, if I’m getting good information), which served only to make me feel sorry for Jacob, hate Bella and stay neutral about Edward. However, there is no one to blame for the unfeeling, heartless way Bella interacts with the people she loves but Kristin herself. I can tell the dialogue is meant to make her likable, but her delivery is flat and unconvincing. Go back and watch the scene when Bella goes to Italy and pushes Edward out of the sunlight. After months of longing for him, her face shows no emotion. None. If I had any shot at feeling some sort of connection to their love story, she ruined it for me with one look.
My solution to the problem: cast Anna Kendrick as Bella instead of Jessica. Boom. Done. Simple.

Random Thoughts: I like Bella’s dad quite a bit. Same with Edward’s. Interesting to see so many strong older male figures in a movie directed at teenage girls. It’s refreshing. Kudos to you on that, Stephanie.

So there’s a group of teenage boys who walk around wearing no shirts and jean shorts with matching tattoos in Forks, Washington which hardly ever has sunny days and is chilly to cold most of the year, but no one is questioning this? Idiots.

When did Bella and Alice become besties? I don’t necessarily have a problem with it, but it’s yet another example of the screenplays inability to flesh out a story.

I’m not big on Jacob when he’s all wolfed out, but if that’s what it took get rid of that hair, it’s an even trade. (I know this makes me sound like an old lady that runs around chasing long-haired men with a broom calling them hippies, but I normally love me some long, flowing locks. It doesn’t work for Taylor Lautner.)

When was the last time you got a paper cut that produced enough blood for it to run down your finger and drop on the floor? I’m just saying…

Hey, another Thome Yorke song! I had no idea he was so predominate in the saga’s soundtrack.

I was wondering if the vampires inability to read Bella’s thoughts was going to take a True Blood twist and she would be some sort of mythological being, but at this point I’m convinced that it’s because she’s a robot. Think about it. It would explain SO much.

Hottie Alert (for the dudes): Ashley Greene

The Verdict: I’d been told that New Moon is the best movie in the Twilight Saga, and I can see why. It was better than Twilight in almost every way possible… Not to say I loved it, but it was decent. I liked it more than I thought I would like any part of this series. They addressed a lot of the problems I had with Twilight. For instance, Chris Weitz is a welcome replacement of Catherine Harkwicke. Weitz created a style; Hardwicke turned down saturation levels. Also, no unnecessary background music – Yay! And, most importantly, no laughably bad dialogue. (Bad dialogue, oh yeah. Heaps of it! Laughably bad, not really.)
The one thing they couldn’t fix (other that Stewart’s atrocious acting) was the fact that I’m still not buying the love story of Bella and Edward. I tried, I really did, but it’s just stupid. I was much more interested in the story of Bella and Jacob than I ever will be of its counterpart, so I guess you can now officially mark me on Team Jacob. Still, learning more about the history of these covens and wondering how the war will play out is making movies that could be a chore to watch bearable.
Halfway through the saga I’m beginning to see the appeal it has to teenage girls, but am still baffled as to why some adults enjoy it so much. New Moon earns an improved 5/10.

Coming up next: Eclipse

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire.

The Best Thing About It: Well, I can’t say I wasn’t entertained. Unfortunately, it was mostly for all the wrong reasons. There were a few minor redeeming qualities though.
First, I like the idea of vampires playing baseball. Sure, I had no idea why they were doing it or what sense it made in the context of the story, but I like the idea of it in a comedic sense. Sadly, it wasn’t used that way. Talk about a missed opportunity. Other things I’d love to see vampires do: play video games, go to an amusement park and attend a Michael McDonald concert.
Second, the fight between Edward and James was less sissy than I imagined it would be. Matter of fact, it was actually pretty good. Easily my favorite part of the movie. I’m far more interested in the war between the Cullens and the other covens than anything involving Bella, the robot girl.
Third, Rob Pattinson “Let Me Sign” and Radiohead “15 Step” are both great songs.

What Could’ve Made It Better: What a loaded question! I could bring up several things that irked me in the first installment of this series, but I’ll focus on what I see as the biggest problem, mostly because it’s what the entire series is based on – the relationship of Edward and Bella. How exactly did we go from “He thinks I’m stinky. I hate him!” to “He’s a dreamy vampire. I love him!”? There was so little development that as someone with low expectations, even I was disappointed. Perhaps it’s addressed better in the books and that’s why so many viewers are enthralled with the love story, but it doesn’t translate in the movie. At best their love is based on the Florence Nightingale effect which is caused by fleeting emotion. (Back to the Future FTW!) I’m sure you Twi-hards see Bella and Edward as the Romeo and Juilet of our time, but due to poor writing, I see two teenagers (okay, so Edward is a really old 17-year-old) acting like typical teenagers, unable to differentiate love from hormonal changes. However, given that Edward is a vampire, their affection will most likely end up getting their loved ones killed. Plus, Edward could do better. I kind of hate Bella, but in the sake of fairness, we’ll chalk some of that up to Kristin Stewart’s inability to act.

Random Thoughts: I’ve admitted that I haven’t read the books, but for the love of God, I hope the dialogue in them is better than it is in the movie. The quote I listed at the beginning of this post had me laughing for a few minutes. I literally had to pause the movie because I couldn’t focus on what happened after that until I made it through my laughing fit.

Was there any scene in this movie without background music? Music is meant to set the mood of the scene, but when overused it just becomes obnoxious and distracting. AmIright?

Catherine Hardwicke, your shots are not artistic. Please stop trying to be cooler than you are. The shot that stands out most to me is when Edward and Bella are in the forest and Bella is telling Edward that she knows what he is. There are so many unnecessary long shots of the trees that it’s laughable. Not to mention that most of the movie is overhead after overhead. And don’t even get me started on the desaturation! Cinematography fail.

Okay, so Bella moves and goes to a new school and immediately the paper wants to write an article about her? My school was too small to have a paper, but I have a hard time believe that it’s protocol to write an article about every new student.  Was it because her step dad is a baseball player? I could see that if anyone at the school ever mentioned it, but it’s never addressed leaving me to believe that the students don’t even know about her step dad. She’s just a random transfer student.. who apparently has never seen rain because she’s from Arizona. (Psst.. It rains in Arizona. Just an FYI.)

Also, Bella mentions to Jacob that she wishes he went to her school so that she’d have a friend, but 30 seconds after arriving she immediately befriends 20 kids. It appears that it was Stephanie Meyers intent to paint her as an outsider, and yet she is quickly accepted in this high school society. Doesn’t make much sense.

“Hey guys, I met this girl named Bella. She’s a human to whom I’ve told all our family secrets. (Of course, it only took her two conversations and a Google search to figure out I was a vampire anyway.) She’s given me no real reason to trust her and could easily get us exposed and killed, but I thought I’d invite her over so we can all be besties. Also, she smells good.”
“That’s cool. We’ll make her dinner.”
Dumbest. Vampires. Ever.

Hottie Alert: Kellan Lutz

The Verdict: Let’s not fool ourselves. These movies weren’t made to be masterpieces, they were made as film counterparts for teen romance novels. Because of that fact, I’ll cut them some slack. They are what they are. As difficult as it is for me to try to slide back into that mentality, I’ll will make a consorted effort to watch the rest of the films through the eyes of a sexually confused 14-year-old girl.
I don’t say this with any intended disrespect toward adults who enjoy the movies, but why? It’s a serious question. Why do you like Twilight? To me so far it’s pretty pitiful from every aspect – disconnected, incoherent story telling, terrible acting and cinematography that looks like it was directed by a fashion school dropout with something to prove. Maybe if I could see what you see in them, I’ll enjoy the other films more than the first. However, the fate of the first installment is sealed. 3/10

Coming up next: New Moon

Our returning readers will probably remember that Brandon kicked off this blog with the Harry Potter Project in which he watched all eight Harry Potter movies in a five day span, then wrote reviews on each of them – an impressive feat. Until now I’ve been behind the scenes here at Grab Bag, so I thought what better to introduce myself than breaking down another wildly popular series – Twilight. Sure, I only have four movies to watch compared to his eight, but he was watching Harry Potter… I’m watching Twilight. I’ll leave it up to you to decide which project is more challenging.

The history: I’m a complete Twilight virgin. I’ve never opened one of the books or even paid full attention to any of the movie trailers. The only time I don’t zone out in situations concerning Twilight is when I hear people commenting on how absolutely terrible it is or how creepy it is that middle-aged women are lusting after teen actors. Oh, then there are the times I flip past late night talk shows interviewing Kristin Stewart and I literally spend the entire time debating if she is, in fact, a robot. But I digress.. that’s a different debate for another time.

Why didn’t I ever watch the movies in the first place? They look awful. I mean, through and through bad from the premise to the writing to the acting. Horrendous. Now, I am a self-admitted “movie elitist,” so don’t get too offended right off the bat, Twi-hards. As another side effect of my elitism – I’m generally put off by popular films. (Avatar, blah!) Clearly the Twilight series is quite popular so my natural inclination is to believe it’s over-hyped, but considering I’ve never seen any of them, I’m making unfair assumptions.

So why watch them now? The main reason is that nothing grinds my gears like people who call brilliant movies boring without even watching them first. Essentially, this is what I’ve been doing for the last three years with the Twilight series. Not that I’m calling the series brilliant, but in all fairness, if they are I wouldn’t know. It’s time for me to own up and give Edward, Bella and Jacob a chance. Time to finally make an educated decision if I’m on Team Edward or Team Jacob instead of defaulting to Jacob because he’s better looking. Time to see if I too will run out and buy body glitter and a replica Bella wedding ring.
Secondly, one of my new favorite theaters is giving out discounted refillable popcorn buckets and drink cups if you attend the midnight showing of Breaking Dawn. I’m a sucker for a good deal.

The project: From Sunday November 13th to Thursday at midnight, I will watch all 4 Twilight movies and review the movies I watched the previous night on this blog every day. I promise to write them from a completely neutral point of view. As much as may be inclined to let the elitist in me run wild, you have my word that I will give you my respectful, unbiased, honest opinion – good or bad – even if my confessions ruin my movie credibility. Between my 5 jobs and the fact that I’ve got a work days worth of Twilight watching to do, it’s going to be a jam packed week. Let’s do this! Sparkle, sparkle!

Coming up next: Twilight

• These are my personal “favorites”, not necessarily the same as “best”.
• All franchises must have at least 3 entries.
• Remakes or reboots are generally considered separate entities from the original series.
• You do not talk about Fight Club.

10. Indiana Jones

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) – 8.5/10
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) – 8/10
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) – 9/10
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) – Let’s just pretend this doesn’t exist

Why I love them so much: Nostalgia. It’s been at least a decade since I’ve watched an Indy film (other than the one I’m denying exists). For all I know, they may completely suck, but in my mind (which stopped forming opinions on the Indiana Jones trilogy when I was 10) Indy is WAY cooler than James Bond and that dude from Mission Impossible.

Favorite moment of the series: Although I’m sure this scene does no justice to the series, the first thing that comes to mind is when Indy and Elsa look for the catacombs under the library in The Last Crusade. Prepubescent Rachael thought it was hilarious that the library employee could not figure out what the huge thud was when he stamped his books. That’s just pure silliness!

Hottie alert: River Phoenix

My geeky confession: When my brother wasn’t busy pretending to be Spock, he would pretend to be Indy. My parents even got him a whip and a fedora.. which was pretty cool when he wasn’t chasing me and my cousins around with it. Of course, that’s more of a geeky confession about my brother.. Oh, I used to walk around with a crayon and paper and make impressions of things – mostly the walls – like Indy used to record the inscription revealing the location of the Grail. Boom. Double geeky confession.

Twitter status update: I just youtubed myself and got 21,600 results of me as a lego. WTF?

9. The Man With No Name Trilogy

9. A Fistful of Dollars (1964) – 8.5/10
For A Few Dollars More (1965) – 9/10
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966) – 10/10

Why I love them so much: I tried my best to link Tarantino’s films into something that could be considered a franchise in every way possible to no avail. Although I consider that audacious, eccentric director my personal favorite, it’s no secret that Sergio Leone had a large impact on his praised style. This trilogy is over-the-top, absurd and completely badass.. just ask Marty McFly.

Favorite moment of the series: The finale of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Yeah, yeah.. I know it’s a good three minutes of building music and close up shots, but let’s expand that scene past the standoff. The twist about about the money, the one liner about diggers, the crotch shots – what’s not to love? And, I must admit, I almost gave a standing ovation when Tuco’s last line was interrupted with the iconic theme. Brilliant!

Hottie alert: Clint Eastwood

My geeky confession: Even though I grew up in a house that basically played this trilogy on a loop (thanks to my dad), until a few years ago when I bought him The Good, the Bad and the Ugly on Blu-ray for Father’s day, I had never taken the time to watch them all the way through because I thought it’d be boring. WRONG. I loved it so much that I watch the other two movies the same week. Moral of the story: Kids don’t know jack about westerns.

Twitter status update: I tried to convince my mule that the four Baxters weren’t laughin’ at him. I don’t think he bought it. He still seems pretty upset. #notnice

8. X-Men

X-Men (2000) – 8.5/10
X-Men 2 (2003) – 8/10
X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) – 7.5/10
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) – 7/10
X-Men: First Class (2011) – 9/10

Why I love them so much: I’ve always been a fan of the X-Men. TMNT, Pee Wee’s Playhouse, Beakman’s World and X-Men – Now that’s the perfect Saturday morning lineup! While my room walls were covered in Tiger Beat and Bop pictures of Jonathan Brandis, my brother’s wall were an endless sea of the animated heroes. We shared a collection of X-Men trading cards.
Plus, how could you not like mutants defending the “normal” people from other humans? Each with their own unique power and unequivocal personalities. It’s a solid story with interesting characters.

Favorite moment of the series: Pretty much anything with Wolverine in it (mostly the scenes with his shirt off). Although his brash personality didn’t do much for me in the comics, Hugh Jackman’s portrayal completely won me over (his arms helped win me over as well).  He’s audacious, cocky and charming… basically he’s like a pessimistic Robert Downey Jr., but in a much beefer body.

Hottie alert: James Marsden

(Yeah, I know I just raved about Hugh Jackman with his shirt off, but everyone forgets about how handsome James is. Plus, he’s an Oklahoma boy. Bonus!)

My geeky confession: I had a pretty big crush on Gambit… you know, as big of a crush as you can have on a cartoon. I think that’s probably why Rogue defaulted as my favorite female and subliminally why I once put a big blonde streak in my bangs at some point.

Twitter status update: It’s really hard to take @magneto seriously with that stupid helmet.

7. Spider-Man

Spider-Man (2002): 9/10
Spider-Man 2 (2004): 8/10
Spider-Man 3 (2007): 6.5/10

Why I love them so much: It’s Spider-Man, what’s not to like? I’ve been through the Superman/Batman/Spider-Man argument dozens of times and the clear winner for me is Spidey. Batman is a billionaire in a with a bunch of gadgets (that he didn’t even make himself – props to Ironman!) – I can’t relate to that. Superman is an alien – I can’t relate to that. Spider-Man is a nerdy kid who has to work for his money – I can dig that. Go underdogs! So, why do I love them so much? Simply put, I’m a Spider-Man fan.

Favorite moment of the series: There are plenty of great scenes that involve Spidey saving people from impending doom, but the one that stands out to me is in the first Spider-Man when Green Goblin forces him to choose between Mary Jane and a  Roosevelt Island Tramway car full of children. Heroism at it’s best!

Hottie alert (for the dudes): Elizabeth Banks

My geeky confession: I don’t know how geeky this is, but my 21st birthday will forever be remembered as the day that Spider-Man 2 came out.

Twitter status update: It’s been a slow day. I wove a pair of “web” pants. I’m thinking about auctioning them off for charity. #greatpower #greatresponsibility

6. A Nightmare on Elm Street

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) – 10/10
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985) – 7/10
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) – 8/10
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988) – 6.5/10
A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989)– 5/10
Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991) – 5/10
Wes Craven’s New Nightmare (1994) - 7/10
Freddy vs. Jason (2003) – 6/10

Why I love them so much: Keep your Jasons and Michael Myers, I’ll take Freddy any day. When you’re talking about the Freddy that Wes Craven intended, he’s a child molesting serial killer that murders kids in their dreams. I double dare you to think of anything more frightening. In the later years, he’s the perfect mix of campy and creepy. Either Freddy is good with me; He was just… fun. (I know that sounds weird. Don’t judge me!)

Favorite moment of the series: It’s a toss up between Tina’s dead body being dragged down the hallway leaving a bloody trail behind it or Glen’s gushingly gory demise. Both scenes still give me the heebie jeebies.

Hottie alert: Johnny Depp

My geeky confession: A friend bought me The Nightmare on Elm Street Collection for Christmas a couple years ago… I leave the box turned to the side that doesn’t have Freddy on it so it doesn’t creep me out if I get up for a glass of water in the middle of the night. Well done, Mr. Craven.

Twitter status update: I;m comniung 4 u @SleeplessNancy! (It’s realyy hare to type wiht these kinves on my finegrs.)

I’m fairly certain that I’m the last person on the planet who hasn’t seen the Harry Potter series. It’s not that I’ve been avoiding them or think that they’re evil.. Honestly, they’ve just never interested me.

Now that the saga is coming to a close and I see my Facebook feed becoming filled with updates about friends preparing their costumes for the premiere, not to mention that HP7.2 just demolished ticket pre-sale records (currently sitting at $32 million), the pop culture junkie in me could no longer ignore the Harry Potter phenomenon.

Last Sunday, my friend Brandon and I sat down and and began to tackle the 20-hour filmatic journey. Our goal: complete all 7 films in time for the midnight showing of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2.
With 11 hours until showtime, we’ve now seen all of them except HP7.1, which we’ll should be a piece of cake to fit in before the main event.

I could go through and review each film in depth, but Brandon has already done that over on our combined blog, Grab Bag OK.. It turns out that we have the same opinion on each film so far, so I highly recommend you popping over there and checking out the reviews.

However, for those of you who don’t want to do the extraneous reading (and who could blame you?) here are my overall thoughts of the series thus far:

The good:

• The characters.
  To me, the most important thing in any story of any genre is being able to connect with the characters. J.K. succeeded in this and it’s paid off for her like gangbusters.
  Given his past and his disposition, how can you not root for Harry? How can you not love sweet, toe-head Ron? He and Harry are like a magical Kevin Arnold and Paul Pfeiffer. Then, of course, there are a whole slew of solid supporting characters – My personal favorites being Sirius Black and Rubeus Hagrid. (Yay for beards!)

• The quality.
  Visually the entire series is strong – the sets, the costumes, the overall “look” – all well done.
  The acting has vastly improved from the beginning (which is to be expected when you hire no-name child actors) and it’s been fun seeing a hodgepodge of stars that I had almost forgotten – Alan Rickman (who looks distractingly like Trent Reznor.. am I right?),  Gary Oldman, Helena Bonham Carter (okay, I didn’t forget about her, but I was surprised to see her), Ralph Fiennes.. the series is chock-full of underrated talents.

• The overall journey.
  The story is a series of twists and turns; a battle of good and evil. A tale of love, friendship and family. It’s a fun adventure to be a part of. I’m not one that loses themselves in fantasy, but if you are that type, I can see how you’d enjoy a 2 1/2 escape into Potterville every couple years.

The bad:

• Plot holes galore.
  This may be different if you’ve read the books.. matter of fact, I can almost guarantee you that it is since the person we’re watching it with has read the books and was able to answer 90% of our questions. However, I haven’t read the books and I don’t plan to.  The movie makers shouldn’t just assume that everyone walking into the theater is a build-in book fan.
• Runtime.
  I know big Harry Potter fans will vehemently disagree with me on this point and I’m okay with that. From an outsider, all of these movies dragged at certain points. To me, that time could’ve been used more wisely.. like by clearing up some things that were unclear. Or just cut the runtime by an hour since most of the films didn’t get to the point until about an hour in.
• Kind of insulting.
  I’m not saying I’m the smartest person out there, but don’t insult my intelligence.
  Harry: “Remember what Aragog said about that girl 50 years ago? She died in a bathroom. What if she never left?”
  Ron: “Moaning Myrtle!”
  Also, when Harry is explaining the prophesy to Dumbledore he says something to the effect of, “It says we can’t co-exist. So I guess that means one of us has to die.” Yes. Duh. Thank you, genius. I thought that was pretty clear.
  Maybe this shouldn’t irritate me because I know they’re supposed to be “kid” movies, but it’s one of my biggest pet peeves. If it just occurred in the first couple movies, I could’ve let it go, but give your audience a little credit. They’re not complete morons.

Ratings:
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s  Stone: 7/10
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: 7.5/10
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: 8/10
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: 8.5/10
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: 7.5/10
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: 8/10
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1: TBD
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2: TBD

Verdict:
I’ve enjoyed the series and it’s been better than I anticipated. I may not completely understand what all the hype is about, but I’ve never been one for stories full of magic and fantasy. Despite the bad things that I listed, I honestly care about these characters and what happens to them.. that makes up for a multitude of short comings.
Whether or not you’re a fan of fantasy; regardless of age or religion (seriously, I found nothing offensive to me as a Christian), I recommend you watch this series. In the end it’s a story of relationships, love and an epic battle of good vs. evil.

10. Jack Shepherd 

Show: LOST
Portrayed by: Matthew Fox

Looks: 7
Personality: 7
Humor: 5
Intelligence: 10
X-Factor: 5 
Total score: 34

• Definitely not the best guy to be in a relationship with, but it was clear to me that if Jack loved you, he’d do anything for you. For all his flaws, I felt like Jack was  a genuinely good person. Due to his personal issues, I don’t think Jack could ever be happy and we would end up divorcing, but that doesn’t mean I think that he would ever stop loving me.

9. Jax Teller

Show: Sons of Anarchy
Portrayed by: Charlie Hunnam

Looks: 9
Personality: 7
Humor: 5
Intelligence: 8
X-Factor: 9
Total score:  38

•  Every woman is looking for the bad boy with a heart of gold and Jax is the closest TV version I’ve found meeting that description. He loves his family and will do anything to protect them, he’s arguably the most intelligent member of SAMCRO and, let’s face it, he’s flippin’ hot. Sure, he’s got that whole motorcycle gang/criminal thing going on, but if I could manage to not get killed in some sort of retaliation act, I think we could be happy together.

8. Vincent Chase

Show: Entourage
Portrayed by: Adrian Grenier

Looks: 9
Personality: 9
Humor: 7
Intelligence: 7
X-Factor: 7
Total score: 39

• Had season 7 not happened, Vinny probably would’ve been a few notches higher on my list. I love how laid back he’s always been. How caring, generous and loyal he is to his friends.. Oh, and he loves his mom. Major points for that. Personality-wise, I feel like I’m a lot like Vince. We would have to work on that whorishness thing he’s got going on though..

7. John “J.D.” Dorian

Show: Scrubs
Portrayed by: Zach Braff

Looks: 7
Personality: 8
Humor: 10
Intelligence: 8
X-Factor: 8
Total score:  41

•  JD is a goofy, lanky, awkward little guy.. which is exactly why I like him so much. He may suck with commitment and be a little needy, but I know he could always make me laugh – VERY important!

6. Ned

Show: Pushing Daisies
Portrayed by: Lee Pace

Looks: 7
Personality: 9
Humor: 8
Intelligence: 9
X-Factor: 8
Total score: 41

•  Yet another really awkward, kinda nerdy guy.. They’re all just so sweet though! What I love most about Ned is his romance with Chuck. It’s one of the most pure portrayals of love I’m seen on TV.. Of course, with my luck, I’d be Olive.

5. David Healy

Show: Roseanne
Portrayed by: Johnny Galecki

Looks: 7
Personality: 9
Humor: 8
Intelligence: 7
X-Factor: 10
Total score: 41 

• I’ve had a crush on little poodle-haired David since I was a pre-teen. He was just so adorable and sweet! He was the perfect contrast to the Conner family.. So soft spoken and artistic. He loved Darlene completely and considering I think of Darlene as my TV equivalent, I imagine he’d love me the same way.

4. Cary Agos

Show: The Good Wife
Portrayed by: Matt Czuchry

Looks: 9
Personality: 8
Humor: 7
Intelligence: 10
X-Factor: 9
Total score: 43

• I’m frankly a little confused as to why I like Cary so much. I’ve gone back and forth several times time on whether he’s a good guy or someone I should punch in the face. The conclusion I’ve come to is this: While he’s a little arrogant, he’s really a decent person. He’s a lawyer for the right reasons.. and he’s good at it. Beneath his douchy exterior, he’s very sweet. Plus, I find myself ridiculously attracted to him even though he’s not at all my type.

3. Jemaine and Bret

Show: Flight of the Conchords
Portrayed by: Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie

Looks: 8
Personality: 10
Humor: 10
Intelligence: 5
X-Factor: 10
Total score: 43

• Yes, for this to work it would have to be a man-man-lady threesome which, as we all know, would be uncomfortable for them.. but I think we could make it work. They’re hilarious, naive musicians with accents. I’m still a little shocked they’re not #1. There’s really not much that can top that combination.

2. Jim Halpert

Show: The Office
Portrayed by: John Krasinski

Looks: 7
Personality: 10
Humor: 10
Intelligence: 9
X-Factor: 8
Total score: 44

•  Which of you female Office viewers hasn’t at least contemplated the idea of marrying Jim Halpert? Not you? LIAR! Jim is the perfect man. Funny, smart, loyal, sweet, considerate, loving, hard-working and confident. If I found a real life equivalent to Jim, I’d be instantly smitten.

1. Dean Winchester

Show: Supernatural
Portrayed by: Jensen Ackles

Looks: 10
Personality: 9
Humor: 10
Intelligence: 8
X-Factor: 10
Total score:  47

• What the flip? Dean Winchester just beat out the perfect man, Jim Halpert?! Yes, he did. And do you know why? Because I’m shallow.  Dean is crazy hot. But, like I mentioned before, this isn’t a sexiest TV hunks list, it’s a full package list. Dean remains on top for several reasons.
  Looks: 10 - Duh. Look at the guy! Sure, he’s not the hottest guy out there, but he’s pretty ridiculously dang sexy.
  Personality: 9 – He gets riled up over a lot of things I’d let go, but I appreciate his gusto.
  Humor: 10 – What’s in the box?!. PUDDING!. I’m Batman. The Dean Scream.
  Intelligence: 8  - Well this kind of depends.. If I have some sort of spirit or demon chasing me, I’m calling Dean first. If I want to know who was the 13th President, I’m calling Sam.
  X-Factor: In Dean’s case, this means many things.. Despite his career, we’ve seen if Dean was allowed to live a normal life, he’d be a great father and husband and a hard worker. The x-factor also includes the fact that family means so much to him – It’s his one weakness. Then, of course, there’s his taste in music. As a DJ as at classic rock station, I fully approve. And honestly, he kicks ass. There’s not a whole lot of things sexier than that.

Trailer: Theatrical
Directed by: Terrence Malick
Release year: 2011
Rating: PG-13
Lead actors: Brad Pitt, Sean Penn, Jessica Chastain

Summary: The Tree of Life is the impressionistic story of a Midwestern family in the 1950′s. The film follows the life journey of the eldest son, Jack, through the innocence of childhood to his disillusioned adult years as he tries to reconcile a complicated relationship with his father. Jack finds himself a lost soul in the modern world, seeking answers to the origins and meaning of life while questioning the existence of faith.

The Good: Well, it’s a Terrence Malick film. One thing that Malick always delivers is beautiful imagery and The Tree of Life is no exception. With the cast, of course the acting was superb. And, I know that many will disagree with this, but I never found myself bored with it, which is kind of impressive if you continue on to read “the bad” section..

The Bad: Well, it’s a Terrence Malick film. Unlike the portion of our theater that walked out, I knew what I was getting into. I don’t know that I’d call myself a huge Malick fan, but I definitely appreciate his work. However, the 30 minute sequence of nature, planets and other “meaningful” imagery about 20 minutes into the film even began to wear on me. I understand the symbolism behind it, but really. Was it necessary or just a tactic to weed out uncommitted moviegoers? Dinosaurs? Really?!
As for the rest of the movie, I found myself.. confused. Like what the heck was up with the third son? Did he die? Why didn’t he talk? WTF?
I get the overall meaning and I admire the thought behind it. Plus, like I said, it was beautiful.. but at what point does a piece of art become too abstract? The Tree of Life was either pure genius or utter drivel that Malick knew pompous hipsters would eat up. I guess I find myself in the middle.

Overall recommendation: If you’re a Terrance Malick fan, you’ll like The Tree of Life. If you’re an average moviegoer, don’t let Brad Pitt and Sean Penn draw you in. You’ll end up walking out.

IMDB rating: 8
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 86% (Fresh)
My rating: 7